October

I’m so confused. How the fuck is October already over.

I swear to god time is moving so much faster now than it was last year, which says a lot.

October had its good and bad moments, but honestly, I think it was the start of a much happier phase in my life. I mean to be quite honest, I really just haven’t enjoyed college up until now. And I don’t mean the school or the people, I absolutely love SMU and all my friends here, I just wasn't happy until this last month.

I’ve had my good moments of course, but I really couldn’t seem to keep myself in a stable place without falling back down into my own depression.

I think getting out of that had a lot to do with just increasing my current medicine but also just doing more things that made me happy. Unfortunately in order for me to do that, I spent quite a bit of money and had to break into my savings to cover my credit card bill, but I never said I was perfect. Actually I take that back, I have said I’m perfect and I stand by that. My income, however,  just isn’t perfect. There’s a difference.

I'm kidding. No, I’m not.

But actually don’t go spending all your money to make yourself happy, unless you have the money, then it’s fair game. A bitch is just broke so that didn’t work out for me.

I did go back to Houston one weekend, which honestly was so fucking nice. I got to see my family which was amazing! Like yall, I’ve genuinely never missed anyone so much. Which is funny because I never would’ve thought I’d miss my family considering I used to fight with them on the daily. I mean they used to fight with me, I was never the instigator. Perfect people never instigate, obviously.

While I was there one of my best friends also came down to visit from Baylor which made my month by far. I hadn’t seen him since I left for college and I was used to hanging with him at least 3 times a week. So to celebrate we went out for sushi and got wasted with our dads which is always fun.

That following weekend my main tiktok got permanently banned, lol rip @maxzuanichh. That sounds like I posted some stupid shit which just isn’t the case. Really the app monitors everything and it’s all monitored by AI so they take down things they think are bad but really aren't, and over time that adds up to your account getting deleted and banned. Lucky me :) !!!! But really it’s starting to happen to so many creators. I promise I’m not making this shit up.

I literally posted photos of me at a concert with music in the background and that’s the video that got me banned.

For some reason though, it hasn't bothered me that much. The only thing that’s fucking annoying is not being able to download my old videos for other platforms and more importantly get the rest of my money out of there. But there’s nothing I can really do about it besides email the community manager by the hour every day, which I have in fact been doing.

Okay this sounds cliche as fuckkkkkk, but I also don’t give a fuck because it is and it’s true. Getting my account deleted actually taught me a few things and I think that's why I don't really give a shit. It taught me that I can't just rely on one platform. Which is why i started a youtube and am working a lot more on my website/blog. I know I haven't posted in a while but I've been working and planning a few things. It also taught me that tiktok probably isn't the most reliable or supportive platform to have as a main, which we kinda already knew but it’s the easiest to grow on so it’s really useful anyways.

But from here forward, I’ll use my new tiktok @maxzuanich2.0 instead, but also continue to put just as much effort, maybe more, into my other platforms. Especially on here because I honestly enjoy blogging way more than anything else.

Oh another weird thing that also happened this last month, I started reading. FUCKING reading. I literally started reading. what the fuck. I seriously can't get over it myself. I've literally never read before and then for some reason one day I felt like buying a couple books and before you know it it's been a month and I've gone through three different books. It’s by far my new favorite hobby. So far I’ve read “people we meet on vacation”, “they both die at the end”, and I’m almost done with “Beach Read”. All of which are sooooo good!

I’m not even gonna try and get yall to read because I used to hate it with a passion too, but I’ll tell you it’s fun as fuck if you find the right book.

I just remembered Halloween was in October. What the fuck. how was Halloween two weeks ago. ok wow.

I used to HATE Halloween. Maybe because my mom used to tell me I was allergic to red dye so I never ate much of the candy anyways.

(Which turns out red dye wasn’t the reason I talked back so much it was being bipolar and not on meds.)

But I also just hated the concept of dressing up and walking around sweaty. However, this year things changed. I fucking love Halloween now. Which I can definitely tell you it's because wada* was involved this time so of course, I had a good time. But I think the Halloween experience is also just so different when you’re in college. I mean it's quite literally called halloweekend, it’s a four day event, not just one.

This year I went bold. I went in not giving a fuck what people thought of me because I knew my costume was funny as fuck.

I went as a baby. As in a a fucking toddler.

Which to be honest I fucking love. SOOOO many people told me I was so bold for this and it was funny as fuck. Which at first I took really offensively because I was hydrated* as fuckk and thought bold was an insult but then I realized I’m probably the only person who couldn’t give less of a fuck what people thought to wear this in public.

I actually had so much fun on Halloween I’ve already created an album for next year's potential lineups, which include: The Pillsbury doughboy, Max and Ruby, Caillou, and recreating Young Thug in that wheelchair with nilla wafers.

I swear to god I'm living in a fever dream I still can’t believe I went out like that.

But yeah that wraps up October.

I started this blog on November 4th and am now finishing it on the 14th….. so… I don't remember as much of October as I once did. So sorry about that, but I hope you enjoyed the little snippet I could offer. I can’t say this enough but time is moving so fast. I can't believe I'm already halfway through November. Like I really wanna decorate my dorm room but I dont think I will because time will go by so fast and then before I know it it’s time to take everything down and I’m like what's the point then?

Y’all feel me?

Ok I need to stop now, I’m being cringy.

Thank yall for taking the time to read this blog post. Sorry I havent been consistent and I took a whole month off. I promise imma try and stay consistent and post every week.

In the meantime, go subscribe to my newsletter and make sure you confirm it in the confirmation email in order to actually subscribe. I have no idea what exactly will be in the newsletter but I’m thinking updates as well as my actual blog post in the email so you can just read it there. Still figuring it all out!

Thank y’all again for taking the time to read this. Make sure to tell your friends about the blog and send it to your grandparents. I love you all and go follow my instagram for more content and updates on new blogs.